Wait…That’s Not How That Works?

I have a confession to make.

Every so often, life taps me on the shoulder, laughs just a little, and says, “Kiki…bless your heart.”

Sometimes I believe I’m an intelligent person. I raised two children who somehow survived adulthood. I’ve navigated cancer, a flipped Jeep, Spartan races, PTA meetings, and enough office politics to qualify for a minor in diplomacy.

Yet every now and then I discover I’ve been carrying around a belief that turns out to be spectacularly…wrong.

Take hurricane evacuation routes. I passed one of these blue and white sign beauties on a pole today. My eyes caught it at a red light. I burst out laughing.

For years—and I do mean years—I honestly believed that if you followed those blue hurricane evacuation signs all the way to the coast, there would be boats waiting to ferry everyone to safety.

It made perfect sense to me.

“Hurricane coming? Head toward the water. The boats are there.”

I pictured an organized operation. Coast Guard. Ferries. Maybe someone with a clipboard checking names before waving us aboard. We’d all sail off into the sunset while the hurricane did its thing.

Imagine my surprise when someone finally explained that an evacuation route is actually the road that gets you away from the coast.

Away.

Not toward.

Apparently, the giant body of water producing the hurricane isn’t where they’re trying to send you.

A few years ago Ernie and I had just finished a delish lunch on our way from the Tampa airport to our resort and were updating the GPS with the address. I spotted the Hurricane Route sign. I said “Ern you can turn there. That’s the way to the coast.”Ernie looked up and straight into my eyes. He said calmly…”Wait. You think there are boats waiting to pick you up in a hurricane?” My heart sank and in that moment I had never felt so blonde and naive. Instead of denying it I told the truth. “That’s right!” I declared. We giggled and drove towards the Gulf.

Once I admitted my hurricane theory out loud, I started wondering how many other things I’ve confidently believed without ever questioning them. It turns out my brain has been quietly writing its own instruction manual for decades.

The funny thing is, I don’t mind being wrong anymore.

Life has taught me that asking the embarrassing question is far better than spending another twenty years believing there’s a fleet of rescue boats waiting at the end of Long Island or in that case the west coast of Florida.

Besides, these little moments remind me that we all have gaps in our knowledge. Most people are just better at hiding them.

Me?

I write blog posts about them.

If my occasional misunderstanding gives someone else permission to laugh at themselves—or admit they’ve been quietly believing something equally ridiculous—then I’d say we’re all headed in the right direction.

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Author: KikiFikar

Kiki Fikar is a native New Yorker who is passionate about taking the day to day life we all experience and sharing it in her tales from Suburbia. She will often be found at the gym, writing snippets each day for future story lines, listening to her two children create their lives, and building the perfect beachfront home and writing retreat in her mind.

31 thoughts on “Wait…That’s Not How That Works?”

  1. 😄 I know those signs and have seen them in my time up there. I will say though that at first glance, it is a dissonant message. it is, after, all, pointing and the conceptual sign of water leads you to believe it the goal has something to do with that! lol

    are you all prepped for this week’s heatwave? I’m going to start working the pool today to get a swim in by Tuesday or Wednesday 🙂 Mike

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  2. See you get me Mike! lol

    Yes the heat wave will be something!! Our pool will heat up naturally for sure. The nights have still been cooler than usual.

    Today is just a humid mess. I was outside after the gym and said forget it. I’ll take a pool day tomorrow (I have off) and tackle the heat.

    Happy pool and stay cool!!! ❤️

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  12. I love your honesty—it made me laugh because I can actually see how your brain connected those dots. We all have those long-held assumptions that seem perfectly logical until someone points out the obvious. The best part is that you’re willing to laugh at yourself and share it, which makes the rest of us feel a little more comfortable admitting our own “Wait…that’s not how that works?” moments.

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  13. omg, I love you. You are so funny, witty, and entertaining. Your writing is top notch. I can’t wait to hear some more of these stories. I have had many of the moments, you are not alone!

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  14. Thank you!! Yes yes. I laugh at myself often because sadly there are quite a few of these episodes in my brain throughout the years! Lol being blonde is real! Hope you had a great weekend!

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  17. Kiki, what a hoot! 😂 The image of everybody waiting on the shore with their “must haves” for evacuation, looking impatiently at their watches… when is the damn Evacuation Superliner gonna get here, anyway? What are my taxes paying for? 😂 🌊 🛳️

    But you make a good point. I think it’s a sign of healthy self confidence when someone is willing to look foolish and ask a question that perhaps everyone is wondering. If they want to be petty and snicker behind your back…ehh. Gossipy people tend to develop wide safety zones around them like bacteria in a petri dish.

    Great read as another weekend draws to a close. Have a great week, my amazing twin! 😎❤️🙏

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  20. Love it Kiki. And you know what, we all have our gaps! You’re just honest in admitting yours. Mine tend to deal with songs. I hear a song and my crazy brain convinces me that it’s one thing when the words and everyone else thinks it’s saying something else. Oh, the craziness. Ha, ha.

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  21. Fun post, and yes, I’m sure most of us have those little gaps in knowledge. Most of my life I believe that you could catch the common cold from just being cold—such as in the winter. But of course, colds are caused by viruses. Winter might play a small part such as more time crowded inside for holiday parties, etc. But it is the actual cause. I hate to admit it, but it took a lifetime to shake that belief. 😏

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  28. We used to croon utter nonsense through “Benny and the Jets,” while acting like we knew what the hell we were singing. I still don’t know the damn words, but if I ever end up on an evacuation road, I’m gonna roll down my window and sing ’em at the top of my lungs! Anyway, here’s to hoping Judge gets back in the line-up soon. They need his stick!

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  29. That was an ugly loss to Boston last night. They need our Judge.

    Benny and the Jets!!! OMG! Yes put that on our evacuation playlist. I’ll have your name on our clipboard VIP list. Priority boarding. DeStefano-✔️ My friends and I still sing “Hold me closer Tony Danza” instead of Tiny Dancer.

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