Just Say It

There are a few accounts I follow on Instagram that genuinely make me smile. Not the perfectly curated houses or the people making a seven-course dinner on a Tuesday night while wearing a white cashmere sweater. Those people make me question my life choices.

I’m talking about the accounts that just make me feel good.

One belongs to a comedian/guy who walks around various cities wearing a very distinct—and very bold—purple smoking jacket. He strolls along, randomly stopping people and tossing compliments their way.

“You’re looking very dapper today.”

“That shirt really lights up your face and your eyes!”

“I love your style!”

Sometimes people stop, smile and engage with him. Other times they keep their heads down and continue walking, probably wondering why a man in a purple smoking jacket is talking to them.

Either way, he says it.

The other account belongs to actor Steve Guttenberg. You may remember him from the Police Academy movies and Three Men and a Baby. Steve grew up near me, so I’ve always followed his career a little more closely.

Fun fact: he hung out at our local pizzeria when he was younger, and his headshot still hangs on the wall there. I may or may not have ridden my bike there as a teenager hoping he would be be there so I could catch a glimpse of him on my way out.

I digress…

Yesterday, Steve posted a message that basically said if you have something nice on your mind, say it.

He told a story about getting off a train and noticing a guy wearing a really nice shirt. Steve almost just kept walking but thought, Why not tell him?

So he did.

“Excuse me. I just wanted to tell you that’s a really nice shirt.”

The guy looked him straight in the eye and for a second Steve thought maybe he was going to bark at him for bothering him. Instead, the man’s face lit up.

“Thank you so much! My wife bought me this shirt and I can’t wait to tell her this is the second compliment I’ve gotten on it today!”

And there it was.

A few seconds. A handful of words. And someone walked away feeling just a little bit better.

I’ve always been someone who passes along a compliment when something strikes me. I don’t really think about it. If I love your shoes, I’m probably going to tell you. If your hair looks fabulous, you’re going to hear about it. If you have a great smile, cool glasses, a beautiful dress or just something about you catches my eye, chances are I’m going to say it.

I’m not looking for anything in return. I just want to say it.

Sometimes people barely acknowledge me and keep walking. That’s okay. Other times, a simple compliment turns into a wonderful little conversation between complete strangers.

And every once in a while, something happens that reminds me exactly why I do it.

This morning I was pulling out of the parking lot at Uncle Giuseppe’s when a woman pulled into the spot next to me in what looked like a brand-new little Fiat.

I immediately noticed her and thought, Oh my God. This woman matches her car perfectly.

Hear me out.

The Fiat was this beautiful, very light gray color. The woman was tiny, perfectly put together, with this gorgeous, perfectly coiffed gray hairstyle.

She and that Fiat were a set.

She looked over at me as she got out of the car. We made eye contact. I could have smiled, backed out and gone about my day.

Instead, I rolled down my window.

“I absolutely love your car,” I said. “And I have to tell you—your whole look matches it perfectly.”

Well.

Her entire face lit up.

She put her hand to her chest and said, “That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time.”

Oooof.

I smiled and told her I hoped she had a wonderful day.

Then I drove away.

I have no idea who she was. I don’t know what kind of morning she had before pulling into Uncle Giuseppe’s. I don’t know what was waiting for her later in the day. And she certainly didn’t know anything about me.

For about thirty seconds, none of that mattered.

Two strangers crossed paths in a supermarket parking lot and one said something nice to the other.

That was it.

Listen, there are plenty of days when I don’t feel like talking to anyone. I can be cranky. I can be tired. I can absolutely give off a strong please don’t make me people today vibe. I am not strolling through life in a purple smoking jacket sprinkling sunshine on everyone I encounter.

But maybe that’s exactly why these little exchanges matter so much.

We spend an awful lot of time thinking things we never say.

Her hair looks beautiful.

He has a great smile.

I love that jacket.

She handled that situation so well.

That person was incredibly kind.

And then we just…keep walking.

Why?

The nice thought is already there. The words are sitting right behind our teeth. All we have to do is let them out.

Because you have absolutely no idea what someone is carrying around when they cross your path. You don’t know if they woke up feeling fabulous or if they’re barely holding the day together. You don’t know if anyone has said something kind to them lately.

And maybe your five-second compliment won’t change their life.

But it might change their next five minutes.

It might put a little spring in their step as they walk into Uncle Giuseppe’s.

It might make them smile when they get back into their perfectly matched little gray Fiat.

And who knows? Maybe they’ll pass that feeling along to someone else.

So if something kind pops into your head today, don’t overthink it.

Roll down the window.

Tell the stranger you love the shirt.

Compliment the hair.

Admire the car.

Just say it.

Kind words are free.

But every once in a while, you get lucky enough to see just how much they’re worth.

Unknown's avatar

Author: KikiFikar

Kiki Fikar is a native New Yorker who is passionate about taking the day to day life we all experience and sharing it in her tales from Suburbia. She will often be found at the gym, writing snippets each day for future story lines, listening to her two children create their lives, and building the perfect beachfront home and writing retreat in her mind.

117 thoughts on “Just Say It”

  1. Twinnie, you are one of those souls who the Lord smiles on… radiating positivity and bonhomie. If you were a piece in a game, there would be a path of light in your wake 😎

    Such a good point about people carrying unknown weights… geez, the world is a mess, everybody’s struggling, trying to eke out one more day, just to get up in the morning and hope something’s changed. “Kind words bring life, but cruel words crush your spirit” ~ Prov 15:4. Way to go, my friend 👏❤️

    Uncle Giuseppe, lol. There’s a great pizza place in Carolina Beach, Uncle Vinny’s. Think they’re related? 😂🍕

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    1. I adore you Twinnie! ❤️ Thank you so much!! Now I’m glowing!

      I’m sure Giuseppe and Vinny know each other! lol This is a chain of Italian markets up here that I’m in love with. On Sundays they have a Frank Sinatra crooner who walks the aisles with a microphone. In the winter months I head there and get a cappuccino which I sip as I shop and sing along with. It’s the little things…❤️

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  2. Wow, that sounds like more than just putting stuff in your cart, it’s an outing… something to be relished and enjoyed… very cool 😎

    When I saw your title, the first thing that popped into my head was the scene in “Back to School” with an apoplectic Sam Kinison screaming “Just sayyyy it…!!” in the face of hapless “student” Rodney Dangerfield 😂 Laughter also makes things easier and sometimes in the store if something funny happens, I’ll make a face at the cashier or another customer…the yuck of the day 😉

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    1. That movie was an unsung gem of our generation. I’m sure we could go on and on about a whole bunch of them (another one also starring Rodney Dangerfield called “Easy Money”.)

      I didn’t know what to call today’s piece but after seeing Steve Guttenberg it was simple.

      😊😊😊

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  3. I usually find myself at a nearby, super-busy convenience store in the mornings, and there is plenty of opportunity to have the doors held open for you…and for you to hold them open for others. I make it a point to actively participate in both circumstances, and throw in a “have a nice day.” It is rare that someone doesn’t respond in kind, and I’d like to think it helps them just a bit more to face whatever challenges await them later in their day. And, maybe they’ll say the same to someone the next time they have the chance. You should never be too busy to make someone smile, and this post makes that point perfectly.

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  4. I love this post!!! Thank you for spreading a little sunshine 🌞 And I love Steve Gutenberg. He did a bunch of Tik Toks during the fires in California ladt year letting people know he was out on the streets helping when he couldn’t get up the hill to his own house. Good guy and still adorable.

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  5. What a beautiful reminder that kindness doesn’t have to be complicated or grand to matter. Sometimes it’s just a few sincere words spoken at the right moment.

    We never really know what someone is carrying behind their smile, and that simple compliment might be the one bright moment they needed that day. I love the idea of not keeping kind thoughts locked inside our heads. If you notice something beautiful, say it. If someone makes you smile, tell them. If you admire something about a stranger, let them know.

    We’re all just passing through each other’s lives for a moment, and we have no idea what impact those little moments might have.

    Kindness costs nothing, but its value can be immeasurable. ❤️

    Sometimes, you don’t have to change someone’s whole life. **Changing their next five minutes is enough.**

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    1. Thank you so very much! Isn’t the world a little brighter this way? I know we can’t reach everyone but maybe we can all just be a little kinder and toss around some good words!

      Hope your week is going great!😊

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  7. I love this! I have always wanted to be the person to compliment others like that, but was always too shy or too self-conscious of myself to say anything. I’ve gotten better about it recently. I know how compliments make me feel and I’m trying to make sure I spread that to others too.

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  8. I don’t know if my comment posted, but I love this! I’ve always wanted to be someone who compliments others. But I was always too shy or self conscious. I’m getting better about it. I know how good it makes me feel to be complimented and so I’m trying to force myself to say it when I have the opportunity. Thanks for the reminder!

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    1. I lack confidence in so many ways. There are some people here who I will not even comment on due to shyness. Don’t know why that is but I get it. We just have to try and let it fly if it works for us.

      I have to fix my settings. I still have it on the approve all comments. This might take me a week. lol

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  10. I certainly know who Steve Guttenberg is. He’s been in a lot of movies. That thing about the shirt happened to me pretty recently. A random stranger told me I had a nice shirt. I have to admit I thought it was a bit weird but I said thank you and it made me feel good. Maybe random compliments isn’t a bad idea.

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  12. Great post, Karen. I think today’s society tends to drown that a little though. I was out running the other day and passed a lady possibly in her 70s immaculately dressed. I was going to say, she looked amazing. But then of course the repercussions of that comment popped into my head. My friend years ago said watching kids playing in a playground always reminded him of his schooldays and made him smile. These days he keeps his eyes firmly on the pavement. Sad times.

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  14. How refreshing!
    And how sad that we live in a world that makes us second guess kindness. We can’t control how it is received or perceived or interepreted. Speaking from my experience in having to weigh every word, including compliments turned around in the name of some narrative of the day!
    Oh to be honestly and simply kind! Thank you for this post!

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  15. Great story, my friend! When I saw the car, all I could think about was the first time I arrived in Belgium and had to rent a car. It was a Fiat, and it was pretty awesome for a tall guy to fit into that tiny car. 😂Fun times!

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  19. I do that as well ( for the greatest embarrassment of my daughters) and quite frankly I never found anyone who was not pleased to be complimented; surprised at first may bevut happy later. I received a few comments sometimes too. I am afraid we have lost a bit of spontaneity nowadays and nm sy be also have lost the ability to enjoy for others.

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  20. I absolutely love this. We really do carry so many kind thoughts about other people that never make it past our lips, when saying them costs us absolutely nothing. And that woman saying it was the nicest thing anyone had said to her in a long time—that’s the whole story right there. We never know what someone is carrying or how badly they might need one small moment of kindness. A compliment may only take five seconds to give, but sometimes the person receiving it carries it for the rest of the day—or much longer.

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  24. If I think a complimentary thought, I say it.

    Your pics remind me of being in traffic a couple weeks ago, stopped at a light and noticing a couple on a restaurant patio. I rolled down my window to verify – yep… a guy wearing a bday tiara. I yelled “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” He got embarrassed & his girlfriend cracked up.

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      1. I used to focus on telling people when I heard something good said behind their back. A few years ago, I switched to saying any positive thought that occurs to me – cause I like when they’re said to me.

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  25. Pingback: Just Say It – fardolife

    1. It’s funny when we were growing up we always cringed when my Dad would talk to people – he tossed compliments out like confetti. I remember watching people’s faces just soften after talking with my Dad. The cringy feeling exited real quick!

      Thank you for reading! ❤️

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  30. UGH! This was such a lovely read. You’re absolutely right. Listen, I can be a person that talks a lot of crap, but I prefer not to (which is also why I don’t hang too closely around people) However, when I see something immediately that I find stylish, cool, or of great character or skill? I am always so eager to point it out. We never know when someone is on their last straw. Thank you for the lovely entry.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading! Like I was saying – there are some days when I would just as soon blend into the woodwork and not speak. Hey maybe those are the days I need to hear others words.

      Have the best day! 😊

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  31. I love this! Little moments of positivity and kindness – especially between strangers – can do so much. These small moments can make a larger collective impact!

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  33. I love telling people when they look nice, are wearing a color that makes them look good, or if their hair is great. It shocks them, but then I see how they light up. It takes just a few seconds, but makes someone’s day. Everyone likes to be lifted up. I think it makes things better for everyone.

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    1. Everyone is so serious these days and maybe it’s because no one ever looks up or is truly having a bad day. You never know when a fun or kind word can change all that!

      Thank you for reading! 😊

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  35. This is so beautifully put. I am that person who also says it as I see it, much to the embarrassment of my husband (not sure why it’s embarrassing like!), but I can’t help myself but talk to strangers anywhere at any time. I love having that little rapport with someone new and it often not only puts a smile on their face but a swing in your own step so to speak.

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  36. Love it! My mother taught me the same: “always state the positive things you’re thinking; always pass on a compliment” (something good someone else said about a person). As a result, people think I’m nice, but it actually only that I voice the positive, exactly as you laid out so perfectly how to do. It’s not hard, you just have to do it.

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  37. Ahh what a lovely well written post full of heart ❤️

    I too am a sharer of things that light up world. It is just such a nice feeling.

    As I said to another commenter imho I think kindness is the highest form of intelligence.

    And another friend once told me positive things happen to positive people.

    The IG crowd are really supportive and creative and funny. Have you been on their text platform Threads too? Hilarious people on there.

    But back to your post I take the spontaneous commenting to people who light up my world into my thoughts as well.

    Often when I think of some one who made me smile or laugh even if it was 20 years ago I will message them 😆

    Thanks for a brilliant post 🤩 You have brought a smile to my face and a warm glow to my body.

    Will subscribe and share.
    Thanks once again, Nikki 😎

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    2. So true! One never knows how much we can lift up someone in the throes of their mental hell. Just the simple act of smiling at a stranger may change someone’s life forever.

      Great post. Great comments. And a perfect example of true humanity, for the sole benefit of humanity’s sake.

      —-Shirley

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  42. Wow!! Thanks for writing this. Barely we find people complimenting each other. And rightly said sometimes the hesitation that what others might think of you most of the times stop us from saying that aloud. This made my day!!

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    1. Why thank you! Yes I agree! Sometimes the reactions from people might hold back our words. Often people just look at me sideways – lol sometimes that’s not surprising in NY. 😊😊😊

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  43. Love the site! I blog about the New York Mets, mets-madness.com feel free to check out my blog, this link is the correct one if you scroll all the way down on my blog you can subscribe, can you please follow mine too? Let’s help each other grow!  -Mikayla Scotlynd Littrell, MetsMadness.

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    1. Yay!!! I just subscribed! Are you a New Yorker too? I don’t want to assume just because you blog about the Mets! I was raised a Mets fan and married a Yankee fan. Fun fact – my friend from Spartan racing is the in stadium announcer at Citifield.

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  44. I like complimenting elderly people, the way they grin so wide and their eyes light up, it’s the best! In the spirit of paying compliments, I enjoyed reading this and it brought a smile to my face. Thank you!

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  48. The fire alarm at my house went off at 9:05 am – 11:15 am. I did not work until 11 am. It said, may i have your attention please? may i have your attention please? There is fire across the building. Evacuate by using the stairs. Do not use the elevators.

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  49. I just have to follow up. You all know that my blog is named after my daily trip to Starbucks. This morning a somewhat new barista handed me my Iced Americano and said “Can I just tell you? Your eyes are so beautiful!” I blew her a kiss and said thank you – you’ve touched me so much!

    It DOES work both ways for sure!

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