Just Say It

There are a few accounts I follow on Instagram that genuinely make me smile. Not the perfectly curated houses or the people making a seven-course dinner on a Tuesday night while wearing a white cashmere sweater. Those people make me question my life choices.

I’m talking about the accounts that just make me feel good.

One belongs to a comedian/guy who walks around various cities wearing a very distinct—and very bold—purple smoking jacket. He strolls along, randomly stopping people and tossing compliments their way.

“You’re looking very dapper today.”

“That shirt really lights up your face and your eyes!”

“I love your style!”

Sometimes people stop, smile and engage with him. Other times they keep their heads down and continue walking, probably wondering why a man in a purple smoking jacket is talking to them.

Either way, he says it.

The other account belongs to actor Steve Guttenberg. You may remember him from the Police Academy movies and Three Men and a Baby. Steve grew up near me, so I’ve always followed his career a little more closely.

Fun fact: he hung out at our local pizzeria when he was younger, and his headshot still hangs on the wall there. I may or may not have ridden my bike there as a teenager hoping he would be be there so I could catch a glimpse of him on my way out.

I digress…

Yesterday, Steve posted a message that basically said if you have something nice on your mind, say it.

He told a story about getting off a train and noticing a guy wearing a really nice shirt. Steve almost just kept walking but thought, Why not tell him?

So he did.

“Excuse me. I just wanted to tell you that’s a really nice shirt.”

The guy looked him straight in the eye and for a second Steve thought maybe he was going to bark at him for bothering him. Instead, the man’s face lit up.

“Thank you so much! My wife bought me this shirt and I can’t wait to tell her this is the second compliment I’ve gotten on it today!”

And there it was.

A few seconds. A handful of words. And someone walked away feeling just a little bit better.

I’ve always been someone who passes along a compliment when something strikes me. I don’t really think about it. If I love your shoes, I’m probably going to tell you. If your hair looks fabulous, you’re going to hear about it. If you have a great smile, cool glasses, a beautiful dress or just something about you catches my eye, chances are I’m going to say it.

I’m not looking for anything in return. I just want to say it.

Sometimes people barely acknowledge me and keep walking. That’s okay. Other times, a simple compliment turns into a wonderful little conversation between complete strangers.

And every once in a while, something happens that reminds me exactly why I do it.

This morning I was pulling out of the parking lot at Uncle Giuseppe’s when a woman pulled into the spot next to me in what looked like a brand-new little Fiat.

I immediately noticed her and thought, Oh my God. This woman matches her car perfectly.

Hear me out.

The Fiat was this beautiful, very light gray color. The woman was tiny, perfectly put together, with this gorgeous, perfectly coiffed gray hairstyle.

She and that Fiat were a set.

She looked over at me as she got out of the car. We made eye contact. I could have smiled, backed out and gone about my day.

Instead, I rolled down my window.

“I absolutely love your car,” I said. “And I have to tell you—your whole look matches it perfectly.”

Well.

Her entire face lit up.

She put her hand to her chest and said, “That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time.”

Oooof.

I smiled and told her I hoped she had a wonderful day.

Then I drove away.

I have no idea who she was. I don’t know what kind of morning she had before pulling into Uncle Giuseppe’s. I don’t know what was waiting for her later in the day. And she certainly didn’t know anything about me.

For about thirty seconds, none of that mattered.

Two strangers crossed paths in a supermarket parking lot and one said something nice to the other.

That was it.

Listen, there are plenty of days when I don’t feel like talking to anyone. I can be cranky. I can be tired. I can absolutely give off a strong please don’t make me people today vibe. I am not strolling through life in a purple smoking jacket sprinkling sunshine on everyone I encounter.

But maybe that’s exactly why these little exchanges matter so much.

We spend an awful lot of time thinking things we never say.

Her hair looks beautiful.

He has a great smile.

I love that jacket.

She handled that situation so well.

That person was incredibly kind.

And then we just…keep walking.

Why?

The nice thought is already there. The words are sitting right behind our teeth. All we have to do is let them out.

Because you have absolutely no idea what someone is carrying around when they cross your path. You don’t know if they woke up feeling fabulous or if they’re barely holding the day together. You don’t know if anyone has said something kind to them lately.

And maybe your five-second compliment won’t change their life.

But it might change their next five minutes.

It might put a little spring in their step as they walk into Uncle Giuseppe’s.

It might make them smile when they get back into their perfectly matched little gray Fiat.

And who knows? Maybe they’ll pass that feeling along to someone else.

So if something kind pops into your head today, don’t overthink it.

Roll down the window.

Tell the stranger you love the shirt.

Compliment the hair.

Admire the car.

Just say it.

Kind words are free.

But every once in a while, you get lucky enough to see just how much they’re worth.

Unknown's avatar

Author: KikiFikar

Kiki Fikar is a native New Yorker who is passionate about taking the day to day life we all experience and sharing it in her tales from Suburbia. She will often be found at the gym, writing snippets each day for future story lines, listening to her two children create their lives, and building the perfect beachfront home and writing retreat in her mind.

114 thoughts on “Just Say It”

  1. I used to focus on telling people when I heard something good said behind their back. A few years ago, I switched to saying any positive thought that occurs to me – cause I like when they’re said to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Just Say It – fardolife

  8. It’s funny when we were growing up we always cringed when my Dad would talk to people – he tossed compliments out like confetti. I remember watching people’s faces just soften after talking with my Dad. The cringy feeling exited real quick!

    Thank you for reading! ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

  11. UGH! This was such a lovely read. You’re absolutely right. Listen, I can be a person that talks a lot of crap, but I prefer not to (which is also why I don’t hang too closely around people) However, when I see something immediately that I find stylish, cool, or of great character or skill? I am always so eager to point it out. We never know when someone is on their last straw. Thank you for the lovely entry.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you so much for reading! Like I was saying – there are some days when I would just as soon blend into the woodwork and not speak. Hey maybe those are the days I need to hear others words.

    Have the best day! 😊

    Like

  14. I love this! Little moments of positivity and kindness – especially between strangers – can do so much. These small moments can make a larger collective impact!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I love telling people when they look nice, are wearing a color that makes them look good, or if their hair is great. It shocks them, but then I see how they light up. It takes just a few seconds, but makes someone’s day. Everyone likes to be lifted up. I think it makes things better for everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Everyone is so serious these days and maybe it’s because no one ever looks up or is truly having a bad day. You never know when a fun or kind word can change all that!

    Thank you for reading! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  20. This is so beautifully put. I am that person who also says it as I see it, much to the embarrassment of my husband (not sure why it’s embarrassing like!), but I can’t help myself but talk to strangers anywhere at any time. I love having that little rapport with someone new and it often not only puts a smile on their face but a swing in your own step so to speak.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Love it! My mother taught me the same: “always state the positive things you’re thinking; always pass on a compliment” (something good someone else said about a person). As a result, people think I’m nice, but it actually only that I voice the positive, exactly as you laid out so perfectly how to do. It’s not hard, you just have to do it.

    Liked by 3 people

  25. Ahh what a lovely well written post full of heart ❤️

    I too am a sharer of things that light up world. It is just such a nice feeling.

    As I said to another commenter imho I think kindness is the highest form of intelligence.

    And another friend once told me positive things happen to positive people.

    The IG crowd are really supportive and creative and funny. Have you been on their text platform Threads too? Hilarious people on there.

    But back to your post I take the spontaneous commenting to people who light up my world into my thoughts as well.

    Often when I think of some one who made me smile or laugh even if it was 20 years ago I will message them 😆

    Thanks for a brilliant post 🤩 You have brought a smile to my face and a warm glow to my body.

    Will subscribe and share.
    Thanks once again, Nikki 😎

    Liked by 2 people

  37. Such a good story… sometimes its a struggle to get out of the rut of saying nothing to no one. It actually makes this anxiety so much easier to think through as of this moment after reading this 😅

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Wow!! Thanks for writing this. Barely we find people complimenting each other. And rightly said sometimes the hesitation that what others might think of you most of the times stop us from saying that aloud. This made my day!!

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Really love this post and I would love to tell you why I love it so much, you see I was once the person who received such an encounter on a day that was probably the worst day of my life. I wrote about this and it was published in a book called the Book of Nuggets compiled by Juliet Solomon. And here’s what was published. On Easter Sunday 2011 I had a stroke which was the catalyst for my life falling apart.
    Within six months I was diagnosed with cancer neurosyphilis and admitted to hospital.
    During treatment I had a cardiac arrest which affected my mental health. In one week I tried to take five overdoses, attempting to end my life.
    My doctor phoned to say there was a problem with my bloods.
    I was diagnosed HIV positive.
    Then life plodded along for a while. I went to university and tried to change my career to give myself a new outlook on life.
    I was still troubled. On June 20th 2013 I took an overdose in a park in central London.
    I was lucky as a lifesaver from the nearby leisure centre resuscitated me, called an ambulance and got me into hospital.
    That wasn’t the end of it. When I left hospital I came back to my flat to find that the locks had been changed and I’d been made homeless.
    I was broken, devastated, lost and didn’t know what to do.
    But I was a soldier. I’d spent six years in the forces, so I had this mentality of, “I’ve got myself into this, I can get myself out.” So I moved into my car – a Peugeot 206 – which for a six feet four inches guy is not the best. This became my home for the next six months.
    I’ve never really spoken a lot about my time homeless because it was really awful. I wouldn’t wish homelessness on my worst enemy.
    It destroys your soul. It takes away your choice. It takes away yourfriends, It takes away your family. As it went on it took away my mind. It broke me. It stole every single little bit of my soul, I felt the shame and the stigma that is thrown at you daily, and. the abuse and the hate that you receive from the public for being in a situation that you never chose.
    I got to the stage where I couldn’t carry on. I hadn’t eaten for three days. We had a major storm and a tree came down and hit my car. I had about 50 parking tickets on my windscreen. I had nowhere to turn. No-one to ask for help. I went into the council office and they threw me out, My HIV had got out of control to the extent that if it was left I would’ve been dead. My body was falling apart, with blisters so bad on my feet that I couldn’t walk.
    I made the final decision to end my life because I couldn’t see myself waking up the following day.
    To be honest I didn’t want to.
    I went into a locked park, Isledon Gardens in Islington, and sat on a bench. I was crying and rocking. I didn’t know what to do. 1 pulled a syringe from my pocket and two grams of crystal meth and started to inject.
    Suddenly a man said, “What are you doing?”
    I couldn’t answer. I just cried, then sat with him for over two hours, telling him everything. He gave me £10 and got me into a cold weather shelter for the following day, got me back to my car and got me some food.
    This is a great man. Not only did he save my life, he gave me my life back. He listened. He cared. His name is Gavin Lane, he’s a park enforcement officer in Islington, and he is the most amazing individual I’ve ever met.
    And this is where it gets to my nugget of wisdom…
    Everyone tells you that one person can’t change the world but I disagree. Gavin is one person, and he changed my world. He gave me that choice to get back on my feet. Hopefully I’ve done the same, and since that day I’ve gone on to do so many things, from sitting on government panels, to helping other people who have been in my situation get back on their feet, to get their artwork seen.I founded a homeless arts festival that has shown artworks from all over the world. I’ve had artworks exhibited all around the world and have won UK and international art competitions. I’ve met presidents and prime ministers to talk about homelessness, and how arts has the ability to give people back their souls and provide a pathway to housing. And now I’m co-director of an international charity in the arts and homelessness, working with over 550 organisations worldwide. Our exhibitions show the world that just because we’ve been homeless, we aren’t useless.Hopefully my work helps my community thrive not just survive, because I can’t grow as a person unless my community grows with me.
    So when they say one person can’t change the world, disagree with them. You can be that person who changes the world for someone, because a twenty second intervention changed my world forever. It only took one great person to change my world, and if he hadn’t I wouldn’t be here to give you this nugget of wisdom today.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Love the site! I blog about the New York Mets, mets-madness.com feel free to check out my blog, this link is the correct one if you scroll all the way down on my blog you can subscribe, can you please follow mine too? Let’s help each other grow!  -Mikayla Scotlynd Littrell, MetsMadness.

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  42. I like complimenting elderly people, the way they grin so wide and their eyes light up, it’s the best! In the spirit of paying compliments, I enjoyed reading this and it brought a smile to my face. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Yay!!! I just subscribed! Are you a New Yorker too? I don’t want to assume just because you blog about the Mets! I was raised a Mets fan and married a Yankee fan. Fun fact – my friend from Spartan racing is the in stadium announcer at Citifield.

    Like

  45. Why thank you! Yes I agree! Sometimes the reactions from people might hold back our words. Often people just look at me sideways – lol sometimes that’s not surprising in NY. 😊😊😊

    Like

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